About a year ago I was fast asleep in my uni house, absolutely knackered from an all-nighter in the library, working my fingers down and my brain into overdrive on my dissertation: a feature film script, along with a 5000-word essay on how I would sell my script in the future.
Well, as it happens that essay was a load of bollocks. I haven’t written the book adaptation to my script (though I have written the first two paragraphs), I haven’t sold the script to the highest bidder, and I am not the beloved writer of the world’s number one franchise, yet. In fact, as I write this blog, my fingernails are fraying apart from the chemicals and surfaces I come across during my work as a housekeeper in a care home. Every button I press bends my index fingernail so much that I want to bite them all off.
I understand that anyone who reads this, hoping for an inspirational account of life after uni, success after success, is going to feel a bit disheartened reading this, but it’s the truth of my life so far. It’s probably the truth for a lot of university graduates. The honest truth is, all the plans I had for myself for the first year I graduated haven’t come close to fruition. I had planned to be well on my way to saving up to move to New Zealand by April of 2017, in a permanent writing role in London, getting all sorts of experience to start my career once I came back.
My problem was simply that I rushed my goals, believing I could do things that were completely out of my control, and in hindsight, I wish I hadn’t set myself time limits to do things. I’m in such a rush to start living in the future that I haven’t done much living now, stressing about things that future Rachael can stress about. You have no control over whether or not, a year after graduating uni, that you’ll be the best for a certain role, no matter how well the interview went. You can have worked for a huge established company, and someone will always be more experienced than you. You’ll be disheartened that you didn’t get the job, but it just means that you have something else to be excited about. There will always be other options and eventually, it’ll all pay off, and all the stress will turn into something new to stress about, like council tax.